I want to go to a show *sulk*. You know I am a really good horse at shows. I can’t tolerate warm ups much. All the riff raff around me, cutting my line up to a fence, getting to close to one’s flanks. Such a pointless waste of time. I am primed and reeeeeeeady to perform, get me in that ring!!!!! I find I am able to suffer through them better now I am older. It’s part of the perfect horse package to behave in the warm up I have learnt. I have also learnt that quite a few humans hang around the warm up and so it is a good showcase for my amazingness. I tend to ignore the riff raff now, arch my neck and throw out my feet. The real star is here now people.
I quite enjoy waiting ringside. I watch a few of the nobodys go round and learn the course. That is quite important as my human is not very good at remembering courses. She needs a bit of babysitting in the ring. I know when she is nervous because she finally shuts up and holds my reins with one hand and chews her gloves with the other. I stand and watch and she chews.
Once in the ring, the world is my stage. Nothing can stop me!!!! I know where the first fence is (obvs) and the jumps are so tiny the rest is merely a sequence of one amazing move from me after another. I love jump off’s the best. My human says I am made for them! It’s because I am so blindingly fast and I just love flying!!!! Sometimes I stick a buck into express my happiness. That makes my human cross because apparently while my ‘ginger arse is in the air I am loosing seconds’, Pah! I make it up on the next turn. My human always whispers in my ear before we go in ‘Be brave, pick up your feet’. Look do I tell you to suck eggs? See these feet? They ain’t going anywhere near those poles. This boys a winner, don’t worry mum *I* won’t let you down.